At the start of 2017 I had absolutely no idea that everything in my life was about to change drastically. I was starting a new job back in the corporate world, was about to settle down into a career and was trying to be what I like to call an ‘adult’. I had no idea that the Bicentennial National Trail or the Continental Divide Trails even existed.

 

To get away from the city life, it wasn’t unusual for me to go up and see my grandparents on their rural property in the next state up. While they are no technical blood relation, that’s the role they held in my life and therefore is the title they got.

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But that year, I lost my grandma to depression.

 

I took it hard and spiraled into a state of constantly re-living conversations, creating hypothetical dialogue in my head of what I should’ve said and blaming myself for not knowing or seeing what was about to happen. I played the ‘what if’ and the blame games so often I was living inside my head more so than in the real world. I was consumed with asking myself questions that I was never going to have the answers to.

But one day, while sitting in my car asking myself the same questions over and over again, I asked myself a different question.

 

Rather than sitting here feeling sorry for myself, why don’t I DO something about it? And in that moment, Green Gold and Blues was born.

 

Initially, the idea was to ride the entirety of the Bicentennial National Trail (BNT), a 5,330km trail in Australia that runs from Cooktown in QLD, to Healesville in VIC.

 

In addition to losing my Grandma in 2017, in 2016 I also lost a friend to depression that I used to work with on a ranch in Colorado. I saw the BNT as a fitting tribute to both of them: what better way to honor the memories of these two people who were both passionate about horses and lived in rural areas, than taking a team of horses through rural areas fundraising for mental health.

 

Unfortunately, drought conditions cut my BNT attempt short after only 1,000km. Coming off trail and waiting for the drought to break wasn’t going to be an option, so I initiated a Plan B.

 

This Plan B came in the form on the Continental Divide Trail, a trail that runs from Mexico to Canada in the United States. That pivot was a decision that again was about to change everything I had thought my future was going to hold.

 

While I wasn’t able to complete the whole ~4,800km in the 4 months I had to ride, I took on 1500km of Colorado, Wyoming and Montana in an effort to continue raising awareness for mental health and getting the conversation going.

 

I believe it’s important to remember that mental illness doesn’t just affect the person who is experiencing it. It affects those that they love and who love them.

 

The catalyst for this ride was an awful, terrible tragedy. However so much good has since come from it, and I hope will continue to do so.

 

The boots I wore every day for the BNT and half of the CDT (until they tore), that I’ve walked hundreds of kilometres in, were my grandma’s. She was literally with me almost every step of the way.

 

But while these rides were born from my desire to honor her memory, Green, Gold and Blues isn’t just about her anymore. Nor is it about me. It’s about everyone who has ever been affected by a mental health episode, be it directly or indirectly through family, friends or co-workers.

 

It’s for everyone who has had the strength to make it through a tough day, has ever been there for someone else’s tough day and for those that have fought and won or are still fighting.

 

A mental health crisis can seem like the most lonely, isolating place to be, but don’t for a second think you are alone. There are so many people that put on a brave face that are fighting a battle we know nothing about, that share these same sentiments.

 

I have spoken to so many of you that have trusted me with your stories. The strength that you all have far exceeds my own and you inspire me on a daily basis.

 

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to share those triumphs and talk about them; you never know who your strength will inspire. The more we talk, the more the conversation will carry. With this, I hope that more people will find that they are not alone and will be able to seek help without the fear of judgement, prejudice or discrimination.

 

If you are struggling or need someone to talk to, please reach out to someone you trust, your GP or one of the below numbers. Nothing is too big or too trivial.

 

AUS

beyondblue 1300 22 4636

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

Lifeline 13 11 14

 

USA

NAMI 1800 950 6264

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1800 273 9255